A friend on facebook sent me a link to a music video in response to some skinny jeans teasing I was doing. It’s a song by a French singer called Yelle and it is a remixed version … one of the rare occasions where the remix is better than the original. It’s called A Cause Des Garçons (Because Of Boys) and the video features three guys dancing in a style called Tecktonik. It is extremely low-budget but it just proves that you don't need to spend silly money to make something fantastic. You just need talent and these guys have plenty.
Now it must be said that I knew nothing of all this before the weekend just gone. I don’t know how many times I’ve watched the video now but I am still transfixed.
Initially I was quite frustrated because I couldn’t find out who the dancers are. I knew the song and artist names and I even found out who produced the video but the dancers seemed to receive no credit. I think that’s pretty unfair because they are the video!
I kept researching though and now know that the dancers’ names are Vavan (most prominent in the video and centred at the start), Treaxy (the white guy on the left) and Fredou (the black guy on the right).
Now that I know their names it has been easy to find more information about these Frenchies. There are more clips on YouTube of Vavan and Treaxy getting up to all sorts of mad-capped antics around Paris. They appear to be minor celebrities and have a bit of a fan base. I am a fan! Particularly of Vavan. How can he look so good with that haircut and those jeans and shoes? I believe it's Yelle's sponsorship deal with Reebok shoes that explains the way the lads are kitted out in this particular video.
It’s hard to say what makes this all so appealing to me. My friend Kyle makes me watch So You Think You Can Dance and although I can see merit and talent in most of the performances on there, it’s not often that anything really grabs me. Kyle by contrast can get quite emotional about it. That is how I get with music. I’ll often get physical reactions to music (goose bumps) but it’s very personal isn’t it? Mozart for example has never provoked a single emotion in me and neither has Beethoven but I know for a fact that both of these artists create just that feeling in millions of others. I get those feelings when I listen to Debussy or John Williams or when I watch Brian May playing the British national anthem on top of Buckingham Palace.
I think I particularly like this video because it reminds me of when I used to go out to nightclubs in the 1990s and I first saw some dancers doing what is now known worldwide as the Melbourne Shuffle. I remember being transfixed back then too. Vavan seems to be doing some of these moves from 0:34 through to about the 1:00 marker and it looks awesome! He’s doing radical things with his hips and arms too. I guess there is something sexual about it but that can probably be said for most forms of dance. Regardless, I’ve never seen anything like it but then I am quite sheltered!
Oh I should warn you against reading any of the comments on YouTube. I get so irritated by them. Aside from the fact that people now seem to be mostly illiterate, there is this pathetic obsession over whether or not people or things are gay. I can’t believe that people are still so hung up over these matters. It just leaves me shaking my head.
22 June, 2009
14 June, 2009
Warm
Hello again my loves! I’m in a good mood and it’s hard not to be. It’s another beautiful day here in Brisbane. The sun has been shining all weekend and it’s really quite exquisite. Yesterday I went driving with the roof off and I even had to put sunscreen on … in winter time! Super.
This morning I’ve been having a good old sing along with Queen which I haven’t done for ages. Really. Well OK it might have been a couple of weeks at the most. I’ve also been doing all my clothes washing and have put my two favourite hoodies out on the line now so that they’ll be ready for later this evening when it gets a little chilly. Relatively speaking. Life’s pretty good huh?
I’m going to miss so much about Queensland when I have to leave. It is always going to have a special place in my heart. It has made me feel healthy, happy and strong. It has energised me. This must be how Kal-El felt when he arrived from Krypton. It’s not just that the weather is fantastic either. People for the most part are genuinely warm and friendly. The lovely people at Woolies in Bulimba are so nice. They always chat with me when I get to the checkout. It’s not forced either. The pretty girl that served me last time was telling me how she’d just completed the last day of her uni degree and I wish I could have stayed longer chatting with her but there were people waiting behind me. That is after all the nature of a queue. Oh, for Americans: A queue is a line of people waiting in turn for some kind of service to be provided. Try using it in a sentence. Go on! Egg cups have also been invented but I’ll save that for another time.
Actually I love Americans too. I’ve been there you know? I keep threatening to go back as well so watch out! Dallas is probably the friendliest and funnest place I have ever been. I’d probably move there if they’d have me. I’ll be on my best behaviour and not say nasty things I promise! I’ll even help you with your spelling.
Back to Woolies though. Why can’t those poor souls at the checkout sit down? They do in England. Actually they have it way too easy in England. They get to sit down and they don’t pack your bags for you either. They often pack mine though. Out of sympathy more than anything. I always get into something of a cuffufle trying to pay for the goods with unfamiliar currency that I can’t read at a glance whilst simultaneously placing the bits and bobs into plastic bags that I have to take off the dispenser myself. Crikey, I’m only one man!
But here in Australia the checkout chicks have to stand up for hours and hours. I wouldn’t like that one bit. I am certain my lower back would get very painful. Humans aren’t well suited to standing for long periods. We have evolved from creatures that spend their lives on all fours and our skeletal system is much better suited to that kind of ‘on all fours’ activity. Well that’s the excuse I use anyway. Give them seats for crying out loud you nasty, nasty Woolworths boss!
Well I’d better be off. Still sitting here in my boxer shorts and it’s now 14:35!
This morning I’ve been having a good old sing along with Queen which I haven’t done for ages. Really. Well OK it might have been a couple of weeks at the most. I’ve also been doing all my clothes washing and have put my two favourite hoodies out on the line now so that they’ll be ready for later this evening when it gets a little chilly. Relatively speaking. Life’s pretty good huh?
I’m going to miss so much about Queensland when I have to leave. It is always going to have a special place in my heart. It has made me feel healthy, happy and strong. It has energised me. This must be how Kal-El felt when he arrived from Krypton. It’s not just that the weather is fantastic either. People for the most part are genuinely warm and friendly. The lovely people at Woolies in Bulimba are so nice. They always chat with me when I get to the checkout. It’s not forced either. The pretty girl that served me last time was telling me how she’d just completed the last day of her uni degree and I wish I could have stayed longer chatting with her but there were people waiting behind me. That is after all the nature of a queue. Oh, for Americans: A queue is a line of people waiting in turn for some kind of service to be provided. Try using it in a sentence. Go on! Egg cups have also been invented but I’ll save that for another time.
Actually I love Americans too. I’ve been there you know? I keep threatening to go back as well so watch out! Dallas is probably the friendliest and funnest place I have ever been. I’d probably move there if they’d have me. I’ll be on my best behaviour and not say nasty things I promise! I’ll even help you with your spelling.
Back to Woolies though. Why can’t those poor souls at the checkout sit down? They do in England. Actually they have it way too easy in England. They get to sit down and they don’t pack your bags for you either. They often pack mine though. Out of sympathy more than anything. I always get into something of a cuffufle trying to pay for the goods with unfamiliar currency that I can’t read at a glance whilst simultaneously placing the bits and bobs into plastic bags that I have to take off the dispenser myself. Crikey, I’m only one man!
But here in Australia the checkout chicks have to stand up for hours and hours. I wouldn’t like that one bit. I am certain my lower back would get very painful. Humans aren’t well suited to standing for long periods. We have evolved from creatures that spend their lives on all fours and our skeletal system is much better suited to that kind of ‘on all fours’ activity. Well that’s the excuse I use anyway. Give them seats for crying out loud you nasty, nasty Woolworths boss!
Well I’d better be off. Still sitting here in my boxer shorts and it’s now 14:35!
03 June, 2009
The Place To Be
Victoria it would seem has cornered the market in swine flu and today raised its alert level from contain to sustain. This escalation process seems to be quite unique in that it involves doing much less work. It’s the equivalent of shrugging your shoulders and saying “Meh, we gave it a crack but now we’re screwed”. Basically they’re going to stop tracking and counting cases, quarantining infected people, closing schools and they’re certainly not going to stop tonight’s ball game which I understand is loosely referred to as ‘footy’.
The Premier of Victoria, John Brumby is of course feeling rather smug about his state’s position at the top of the swine flu ladder pointing out off the record, that “Melbourne is clearly ahead of Sydney and that Adelaide’s effort of just eight infections is frankly pathetic”.
People in Melbourne (where there are now more than 500 known infections of the H1N1 virus) accepted a long time ago that they live in a place that’s wetter than Niagara Falls, that it’s easier to buy ecstasy than eggs, that ‘Ellen’ can be a boy’s name too, that you’re likely to be booked for speeding whilst reversing out of your own driveway, and that if the local Mafia doesn’t shoot you, there’s a fairly good chance that local police force will. So it’s no real hardship to add swine flu to their list of woes. Plus, I understand there are lots of nice cafés. Certainly far more than Sydney. They will all remain open and will be providing complimentary tissues for patrons.
Life would appear to be going on as usual in Australia’s second largest city (Sydney may be bigger but that doesn‘t mean it‘s better OK?). There’s no sign of people getting about with face masks although I suspect this is more to do with widespread dissatisfaction about their design - they’re not available in this season’s full range of black.
There was talk during the week about closing the borders with Victoria although to be fair, I did read that on news.com.au and let’s be honest, it’s the online equivalent of todaytonight. So the borders remain open but the South Australian government has further enflamed tensions with its neighbouring state by ruling that children who attend tonight’s terribly important ball game in the rival city will not be allowed to return to their schools at home for a whole week. Gee, I’m sure that will discourage them from going.
The relationship between Adelaide and Melbourne (and I just put them in that order for ‘elphabetic’ reasons not because Adelaide is better OK?) has been a bit off ever since Melbourne snatched the Grand Prix (and subsequently turned it into an aquatic event on more than one occasion) from Adelaide in 1996 leaving the city of churches with literally nothing to do. No one has gone there since. I don’t think there are even photos of the city on Google Earth. Poor Adelaide.
I recently noticed that there are a few facebook groups for insecure Victorians called Melbourne is better than Sydney and Melbourne is better than Adelaide. The latter seems a bit pointless doesn’t it? Kind of stating the obvious. I might start a group called Matthew Johns is better at maths than a squirrel. It’s not really going to provoke much debate is it? The real question is who has seen more nuts?
Back on track, I had a read of the Melbourne is better than Adelaide facebook group description, where the creator has written the justification for the totally unremarkable claim and I quote (so excuse the grammar) “Adelaide have an all-round bad accent”. Bahahahaha! Umm … pot? Kettle? Black?
To be fair, there is actually a Sydney is better than Melbourne facebook group too but it only has 7000 members vs. the 77000 members of the pro Melbourne group. Melbournites will probably say “Ha ha! See, we are greater!” but to me in just suggests they’re ten times more insecure.
Anyway, everyone knows that Sydney doesn’t have a ‘soul’ but instead has a wallet … which is actually quite convenient if you’ve lost yours.
The Premier of Victoria, John Brumby is of course feeling rather smug about his state’s position at the top of the swine flu ladder pointing out off the record, that “Melbourne is clearly ahead of Sydney and that Adelaide’s effort of just eight infections is frankly pathetic”.
People in Melbourne (where there are now more than 500 known infections of the H1N1 virus) accepted a long time ago that they live in a place that’s wetter than Niagara Falls, that it’s easier to buy ecstasy than eggs, that ‘Ellen’ can be a boy’s name too, that you’re likely to be booked for speeding whilst reversing out of your own driveway, and that if the local Mafia doesn’t shoot you, there’s a fairly good chance that local police force will. So it’s no real hardship to add swine flu to their list of woes. Plus, I understand there are lots of nice cafés. Certainly far more than Sydney. They will all remain open and will be providing complimentary tissues for patrons.
Life would appear to be going on as usual in Australia’s second largest city (Sydney may be bigger but that doesn‘t mean it‘s better OK?). There’s no sign of people getting about with face masks although I suspect this is more to do with widespread dissatisfaction about their design - they’re not available in this season’s full range of black.
There was talk during the week about closing the borders with Victoria although to be fair, I did read that on news.com.au and let’s be honest, it’s the online equivalent of todaytonight. So the borders remain open but the South Australian government has further enflamed tensions with its neighbouring state by ruling that children who attend tonight’s terribly important ball game in the rival city will not be allowed to return to their schools at home for a whole week. Gee, I’m sure that will discourage them from going.
The relationship between Adelaide and Melbourne (and I just put them in that order for ‘elphabetic’ reasons not because Adelaide is better OK?) has been a bit off ever since Melbourne snatched the Grand Prix (and subsequently turned it into an aquatic event on more than one occasion) from Adelaide in 1996 leaving the city of churches with literally nothing to do. No one has gone there since. I don’t think there are even photos of the city on Google Earth. Poor Adelaide.
I recently noticed that there are a few facebook groups for insecure Victorians called Melbourne is better than Sydney and Melbourne is better than Adelaide. The latter seems a bit pointless doesn’t it? Kind of stating the obvious. I might start a group called Matthew Johns is better at maths than a squirrel. It’s not really going to provoke much debate is it? The real question is who has seen more nuts?
Back on track, I had a read of the Melbourne is better than Adelaide facebook group description, where the creator has written the justification for the totally unremarkable claim and I quote (so excuse the grammar) “Adelaide have an all-round bad accent”. Bahahahaha! Umm … pot? Kettle? Black?
To be fair, there is actually a Sydney is better than Melbourne facebook group too but it only has 7000 members vs. the 77000 members of the pro Melbourne group. Melbournites will probably say “Ha ha! See, we are greater!” but to me in just suggests they’re ten times more insecure.
Anyway, everyone knows that Sydney doesn’t have a ‘soul’ but instead has a wallet … which is actually quite convenient if you’ve lost yours.
16 May, 2009
Go West
My telly was finally repaired and returned to me yesterday morning. It is very new but got off to a bad start and needed to have the panel replaced. In other words, it needed a new telly. All under warranty so not a big drama but it did mean I was without a window to the world for about six weeks. Again, not a problem for me as I only really watch the F1GPs and episodes of Smallville as they become available. Having it returned was something of a novelty though and it got a bit of a workout on its first day back. I ended up watching a dreadful made-for-TV movie called Pandemic on Channel 7 last night. It was pretty poor and punctuated with so many ad breaks that it was virtually unwatchable. That’s an understatement. It was unbearable. I would rather have spent that couple of hours trapped in an elevator with someone from Melbourne going on and on about how much better it is than Sydney … which is what everyone from Melbourne seems to do every time the rival city is mentioned. Here’s a tip for the Victorian government: If you really want to challenge
I also caught some of the David Letterman show last night and it occurred to me that it’s not just the spelling of humour that differentiates
I quite like David Letterman though. I think he’d be a lot better if he wasn’t constrained by that painful and completely knackered programme format. Why would you change something that is so successful though? Why would you risk upsetting your audience? I don’t know but I’d like to ask Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of facebook. Where have my friend details gone Mark? Bitch.
This morning I caught the tail end of Video Hits and a track by someone called Kanye West who I understand is actually quite famous and wealthy. The song was called Amazing which is as ironic and calling the Fiat Multipla the Fiat Beautiful. Aside from a gratuitous use of Auto-Tune that makes Lady Gaga’s voice sound natural and unaffected by comparison, it was painfully repetitive and dull. The only thing truly amazing was that the song made it all the way from Mr West’s head to my television on the other side of the planet without someone saying “Hang on, this is bollocks. Why don’t we record some music instead?”
It would be easy to say that I am just old and out of touch and look, there’s some truth in that to be sure. But I do like plenty of other new stuff so I’m not entirely closed-minded. Actually I watched/listened to another track this morning on Rage. Playing was a Pet Shop Boys track called Opportunities (Let’s Make Lots of Money). It’s from the first Pet Shop Boys album Please. Watching the video I felt embarrassed for them. It was dreadfully ordinary stuff. The video was so bad you wonder why they bothered at all and the music was totally one dimensional. I can honestly say that I’d prefer to listen to Kanye’s offering. An important reminder for me, that crap music isn’t a new phenomenon at all.
23 April, 2009
Are We There Yet?
I was going to stop talking about large people but let me just say one more thing.
I had to queue up for about 45mins this morning just to check in my suitcase at Brisbane airport. It’s not really acceptable is it? I arrived in plenty of time (like you’re asked to) but I almost think it’s worth coming late. If you arrive late they just make an announcement over the PA asking people on your flight to jump the queue and go directly to counter whatever and they fast track your check in. Anyway, I did the right thing and arrived on time and then stood there with all the other numpties waiting to drop off my bag. It’s not like QANTAS didn’t have enough staff at the counters. There were just lots of people. I don’t know what the solution is. Fortunately I am fit so standing for that amount of time is OK.
The person in front of me was not fit. He was enormous. He had dressed so inappropriately too. A T-shirt and footy shorts. He was gigantic and the T-shirt hung out so far in front of his shorts that there was a huge gap. Luckily I didn’t get a glimpse of what was underneath. Anyway, he was having a bad time in the queue. I could see the sweat gathering and trickling down the side of his face. The wet patch on his back was getting larger and larger, clearly visible through his T-shirt. His body wasn’t coping with the task of standing still in an air-conditioned room. I have to wonder how he manages to do other things … like moving. Thank goodness he didn’t end up on my flight. It would’ve been a pretty nasty business being seated next to that. Poor guy. See? I am being quite empathetic!
Oh and I got the explosives check again. They always pick me. I really don’t know why. I am smartly dressed in business clothes and clean shaven. Terrorists all have beards. Everyone knows that. Phil (my boss) says that it’s because I look like Sylar from Heroes. Yeah, could be that although lately I’ve not endured any of the “Hey you know who you look like?” business that was so frequent a year ago. So I was almost clear of the X-ray machine having refitted my belt, pocketed my Nokia and repacked my Dell Mini 9. Oh Christ, I’ve just noticed they’re bringing me cereal for breakfast. That’s no good on an aeroplane. I bet I spill it. Yeah So I’d almost escaped to the escalator when the explosives lady ask me if I would consent to an explosives check. Whatever. Do I have a choice? I don't mind. I just wonder why they always pick me.
Oh look, they've brought me a little sealed bag of apple pieces, a sort of muffin/roll hybrid, some Granola Clusters from the nutty people at Sanitarium and some full cream UHT milk … which strangley, I quite like. Do you think I use ellipses too often? I could’ve used a comma but it’s just not the same. When I worked for EDS, the CEO Dick Brown used to send us ‘motivational’ emails and overused ellipses. We used to take the Mickey out of him for that. We also used to call him Brown Dick. That’s how the emails turned up! Surname first. Anyway he made off with tons of cash and EDS’ share values plummeted. I’m sure it wasn’t his fault. He was probably really nice. They also brought me some multi V juice. I hate that stuff. It’s so ambiguous. I know what you’re up to Berri. I know that you scrape all the left over bits from all the nice fruit juice vats and cobble it together under the guise of something healthy. It tastes like medicine. I’ll take it with me and drink it anyway.
I haven’t written a blog entry for ages. I’m only doing this one now because there is nothing else to do on this flight. I’d read the in flight magazine before we even got off the ground. I should’ve picked up some of those headphones and then I could be watching the telly. They have Andrew Denton interviewing Sir Michael Parkinson. I like both those guys. I really want to become a Sir. Every time I go to England I promise myself I’ll do something really grand and get knighted by the Queen. That would be excellent. I never collect those headphones though. Firstly I am always trying to minimise what I am carrying when I’m on an aeroplane. I hate cluttering up the seat pocket in front of me. Secondly, the headphones are dreadful. I have some really super Sennheiser noise-cancelling jobbies that are designed for aeroplanes. I rarely bring them with me though for reason number one. What a pillock I am.
Hey I went rollerblading yesterday. Actually I had a massive day. Got up at crack of sparrow’s. Had a V drink (it’s becoming a problem) and went downstairs to my gym and had a workout. Then I went off to my rollerblading lesson at 10:30. I almost didn’t make it on time because my sat nav directed me to turn left where I could not and I ended up going over the bridge and had to make a U-turn and come back. I got a bit flustered actually. Probably the V drink. I quite enjoyed the rollerblading. I wasn’t too shabby at it. I didn’t even fall over. I am going to keep practicing until I can jump dustbins and hold on the back of cars Marty McFly style. After rollerblading I went to a picnic in New Farm park. I almost gave up and went home because parking was such a trauma. I can’t emphasise enough just how much I hate driving and parking in Brisbane. It is appalling. Simply appalling.
Are we there yet? The Brisbane to Canberra flight takes a bit too long. Why don’t they go faster? If I flew a plane I would max it out all the time. Really give it some Welly. Oh that has confused the spelling checker. Should Welly be capitalised? It’s short for Wellingtons. Is that a brand? I’m going to go back and capitalise it. Yeah these planes can go much faster than this I am sure. It’s starting to descend now. I’ll be told to switch this off in a sec. What a load of bollocks that is. I know how stuff works. This doesn’t affect the aircraft. I have all the transmitting jobbies switched off. Oh there’s there announcement now. Until next time.
I had to queue up for about 45mins this morning just to check in my suitcase at Brisbane airport. It’s not really acceptable is it? I arrived in plenty of time (like you’re asked to) but I almost think it’s worth coming late. If you arrive late they just make an announcement over the PA asking people on your flight to jump the queue and go directly to counter whatever and they fast track your check in. Anyway, I did the right thing and arrived on time and then stood there with all the other numpties waiting to drop off my bag. It’s not like QANTAS didn’t have enough staff at the counters. There were just lots of people. I don’t know what the solution is. Fortunately I am fit so standing for that amount of time is OK.
The person in front of me was not fit. He was enormous. He had dressed so inappropriately too. A T-shirt and footy shorts. He was gigantic and the T-shirt hung out so far in front of his shorts that there was a huge gap. Luckily I didn’t get a glimpse of what was underneath. Anyway, he was having a bad time in the queue. I could see the sweat gathering and trickling down the side of his face. The wet patch on his back was getting larger and larger, clearly visible through his T-shirt. His body wasn’t coping with the task of standing still in an air-conditioned room. I have to wonder how he manages to do other things … like moving. Thank goodness he didn’t end up on my flight. It would’ve been a pretty nasty business being seated next to that. Poor guy. See? I am being quite empathetic!
Oh and I got the explosives check again. They always pick me. I really don’t know why. I am smartly dressed in business clothes and clean shaven. Terrorists all have beards. Everyone knows that. Phil (my boss) says that it’s because I look like Sylar from Heroes. Yeah, could be that although lately I’ve not endured any of the “Hey you know who you look like?” business that was so frequent a year ago. So I was almost clear of the X-ray machine having refitted my belt, pocketed my Nokia and repacked my Dell Mini 9. Oh Christ, I’ve just noticed they’re bringing me cereal for breakfast. That’s no good on an aeroplane. I bet I spill it. Yeah So I’d almost escaped to the escalator when the explosives lady ask me if I would consent to an explosives check. Whatever. Do I have a choice? I don't mind. I just wonder why they always pick me.
Oh look, they've brought me a little sealed bag of apple pieces, a sort of muffin/roll hybrid, some Granola Clusters from the nutty people at Sanitarium and some full cream UHT milk … which strangley, I quite like. Do you think I use ellipses too often? I could’ve used a comma but it’s just not the same. When I worked for EDS, the CEO Dick Brown used to send us ‘motivational’ emails and overused ellipses. We used to take the Mickey out of him for that. We also used to call him Brown Dick. That’s how the emails turned up! Surname first. Anyway he made off with tons of cash and EDS’ share values plummeted. I’m sure it wasn’t his fault. He was probably really nice. They also brought me some multi V juice. I hate that stuff. It’s so ambiguous. I know what you’re up to Berri. I know that you scrape all the left over bits from all the nice fruit juice vats and cobble it together under the guise of something healthy. It tastes like medicine. I’ll take it with me and drink it anyway.
I haven’t written a blog entry for ages. I’m only doing this one now because there is nothing else to do on this flight. I’d read the in flight magazine before we even got off the ground. I should’ve picked up some of those headphones and then I could be watching the telly. They have Andrew Denton interviewing Sir Michael Parkinson. I like both those guys. I really want to become a Sir. Every time I go to England I promise myself I’ll do something really grand and get knighted by the Queen. That would be excellent. I never collect those headphones though. Firstly I am always trying to minimise what I am carrying when I’m on an aeroplane. I hate cluttering up the seat pocket in front of me. Secondly, the headphones are dreadful. I have some really super Sennheiser noise-cancelling jobbies that are designed for aeroplanes. I rarely bring them with me though for reason number one. What a pillock I am.
Hey I went rollerblading yesterday. Actually I had a massive day. Got up at crack of sparrow’s. Had a V drink (it’s becoming a problem) and went downstairs to my gym and had a workout. Then I went off to my rollerblading lesson at 10:30. I almost didn’t make it on time because my sat nav directed me to turn left where I could not and I ended up going over the bridge and had to make a U-turn and come back. I got a bit flustered actually. Probably the V drink. I quite enjoyed the rollerblading. I wasn’t too shabby at it. I didn’t even fall over. I am going to keep practicing until I can jump dustbins and hold on the back of cars Marty McFly style. After rollerblading I went to a picnic in New Farm park. I almost gave up and went home because parking was such a trauma. I can’t emphasise enough just how much I hate driving and parking in Brisbane. It is appalling. Simply appalling.
Are we there yet? The Brisbane to Canberra flight takes a bit too long. Why don’t they go faster? If I flew a plane I would max it out all the time. Really give it some Welly. Oh that has confused the spelling checker. Should Welly be capitalised? It’s short for Wellingtons. Is that a brand? I’m going to go back and capitalise it. Yeah these planes can go much faster than this I am sure. It’s starting to descend now. I’ll be told to switch this off in a sec. What a load of bollocks that is. I know how stuff works. This doesn’t affect the aircraft. I have all the transmitting jobbies switched off. Oh there’s there announcement now. Until next time.
14 March, 2009
Love of the common people
Driving my Elise today I had two very different interactions with ordinary folk. I do try to get out and mix among them from time to time.
The first was an older looking chap (well he had grey hair and a beard) in a 200SX. He pulled up beside me at the lights and started saying something. I turned down Princess Superstar and asked him to repeat it. He said "Sounds really good mate. Not too loud, just really nice". How good is that? I assume he was talking about my engine and not Princess Superstar. I wouldn't say she was nice. She's a bit of a slapper. What a lovely thing to say though. He's right of course. My car really does sound swell and I'm sure my neighbours don't mind at all when I return home in the wee hours. If anything, it's a treat for them.
The second interaction was a little further along on the same journey. I had to do some absurd dive into a back street and U-turn arrangement to defeat the constant Brisbane problem of never being able to actually turn right into the street that you want. Anyway I ended up stopping at some lights outside a very working class looking pub. This guy who looked like a bikey (I mean really rough. Think Vivian from The Young Ones) approached the car and bent down to peer in. He gave me the finger and I thought "Oh dear, this is going to be socially awkward" but then quickly realised that for him it was some kind of affectionate greeting. He knew it was a Lotus which surprised me. He then asked whether it was hand made (odd question!) and I told him it was ... though not by me. Then he told me to smoke up the wheels when the lights changed and he assured me that there were no police officers around. Really the conversation wasn't anywhere near as coherent as I am making it sound. He was just making a series of grunting noises which I was translating from Bogan back into English. It certainly wasn’t anything like having a conversation with Sir Roger Moore. Anyway I politely declined his request and was relieved when the lights went green and our brief friendship came to an end. I think I do rather well to blend in.
The first was an older looking chap (well he had grey hair and a beard) in a 200SX. He pulled up beside me at the lights and started saying something. I turned down Princess Superstar and asked him to repeat it. He said "Sounds really good mate. Not too loud, just really nice". How good is that? I assume he was talking about my engine and not Princess Superstar. I wouldn't say she was nice. She's a bit of a slapper. What a lovely thing to say though. He's right of course. My car really does sound swell and I'm sure my neighbours don't mind at all when I return home in the wee hours. If anything, it's a treat for them.
The second interaction was a little further along on the same journey. I had to do some absurd dive into a back street and U-turn arrangement to defeat the constant Brisbane problem of never being able to actually turn right into the street that you want. Anyway I ended up stopping at some lights outside a very working class looking pub. This guy who looked like a bikey (I mean really rough. Think Vivian from The Young Ones) approached the car and bent down to peer in. He gave me the finger and I thought "Oh dear, this is going to be socially awkward" but then quickly realised that for him it was some kind of affectionate greeting. He knew it was a Lotus which surprised me. He then asked whether it was hand made (odd question!) and I told him it was ... though not by me. Then he told me to smoke up the wheels when the lights changed and he assured me that there were no police officers around. Really the conversation wasn't anywhere near as coherent as I am making it sound. He was just making a series of grunting noises which I was translating from Bogan back into English. It certainly wasn’t anything like having a conversation with Sir Roger Moore. Anyway I politely declined his request and was relieved when the lights went green and our brief friendship came to an end. I think I do rather well to blend in.
12 March, 2009
The things I miss most about Canberra
Clean air
In Brisbane you can’t walk anywhere in the CBD without breathing in car fumes or cigarette smoke. Sometimes I have to hold my breath for so long I am in danger of passing out!
Smooth, clear roads
The roads here are congested and the geographical obstacle that is the river means there’s often only one route you can take to get somewhere. On that route you are confronted by people driving under the already low speed limits and blocking up all the lanes.
Being able to park
If you can find a parking space anywhere then it will cost you a fortune. I literally spent 30 minutes trying to find a place to stop my car when I went out to dinner the other night. Suffice to say I was agitated. Also, the Brisbane City Council can fine you for parking somewhere even if there’s no indication that it’s prohibited.
Ali Baba
Where can I buy a decent kebab here?
Kangaroos
Haven’t seen one since I left Canberra. I guess there’s no bushland for them. The lizards and bats are cool though.
Being able to drive to Sydney on a whim
I guess I took it for granted. Sydney is great fun. It is great being able to drive to the Gold Coast on the weekends for a swim though. It's just a shame about the traffic and non-existent motorway lane etiquette.
Wakefield Park Raceway
I loved being able to take my car there and give it a jolly good thrash. The poor little thing doesn’t ever get let off the leash here. I will have to checkout Queensland Raceway.
My garage with all the tools placed neatly on the wall
All my tools are in a trunk here. It’s hard to find stuff. Oh and I have to park my cars inline in my new place rather than beside each other which is such a pain when I want to use the ‘other’ one. Rentals are not as good as your own house.
Counting the bogans wearing Holden Racing Team jackets at the Tuggeranong Hyperdome
I haven’t seen any here. Probably because I don’t visit the burbs. I’m sure there are bogans-a-plenty out Ipswich way.
All my friends
Obviously. I have new ones but it will take a long time before it feels the same.
Being able to wear jumpers and jackets and hoodies
I have a whole wardrobe of clothes I’ll never get to wear. I used to love wearing my faux fur hooded jacket.
Bumping into people I know
Sometimes it is nice to be anonymous but seeing people you recognise sure helps you feel like you have a part to play.
Kingsley’s Chicken
For those occasions when I’ve left it too late to organise dinner.
Driving around the Cotter Road on the weekends
It’s like Canberra’s answer to the Nürburgring. It’s the only road I know of where you can enjoy yourself at the posted speed limit. Even better that it was virtually in my backyard.
The shops being open when I need them
The supermarkets here close stupidly early and as a result, I keep having to buy essentials from corner shops with outrageously inflated prices. How long until they get rid of these draconian trading restrictions?
Daylight Saving
Being woken up at crack of sparrow’s by a council worker who is understandably trying to complete the mowing before the day’s heat makes such work unbearable is starting to get on my tits.
Billy
Around whom I never had to pretend to be cool. Sing-alongs to John Farnham were allowed.
In Brisbane you can’t walk anywhere in the CBD without breathing in car fumes or cigarette smoke. Sometimes I have to hold my breath for so long I am in danger of passing out!
Smooth, clear roads
The roads here are congested and the geographical obstacle that is the river means there’s often only one route you can take to get somewhere. On that route you are confronted by people driving under the already low speed limits and blocking up all the lanes.
Being able to park
If you can find a parking space anywhere then it will cost you a fortune. I literally spent 30 minutes trying to find a place to stop my car when I went out to dinner the other night. Suffice to say I was agitated. Also, the Brisbane City Council can fine you for parking somewhere even if there’s no indication that it’s prohibited.
Ali Baba
Where can I buy a decent kebab here?
Kangaroos
Haven’t seen one since I left Canberra. I guess there’s no bushland for them. The lizards and bats are cool though.
Being able to drive to Sydney on a whim
I guess I took it for granted. Sydney is great fun. It is great being able to drive to the Gold Coast on the weekends for a swim though. It's just a shame about the traffic and non-existent motorway lane etiquette.
Wakefield Park Raceway
I loved being able to take my car there and give it a jolly good thrash. The poor little thing doesn’t ever get let off the leash here. I will have to checkout Queensland Raceway.
My garage with all the tools placed neatly on the wall
All my tools are in a trunk here. It’s hard to find stuff. Oh and I have to park my cars inline in my new place rather than beside each other which is such a pain when I want to use the ‘other’ one. Rentals are not as good as your own house.
Counting the bogans wearing Holden Racing Team jackets at the Tuggeranong Hyperdome
I haven’t seen any here. Probably because I don’t visit the burbs. I’m sure there are bogans-a-plenty out Ipswich way.
All my friends
Obviously. I have new ones but it will take a long time before it feels the same.
Being able to wear jumpers and jackets and hoodies
I have a whole wardrobe of clothes I’ll never get to wear. I used to love wearing my faux fur hooded jacket.
Bumping into people I know
Sometimes it is nice to be anonymous but seeing people you recognise sure helps you feel like you have a part to play.
Kingsley’s Chicken
For those occasions when I’ve left it too late to organise dinner.
Driving around the Cotter Road on the weekends
It’s like Canberra’s answer to the Nürburgring. It’s the only road I know of where you can enjoy yourself at the posted speed limit. Even better that it was virtually in my backyard.
The shops being open when I need them
The supermarkets here close stupidly early and as a result, I keep having to buy essentials from corner shops with outrageously inflated prices. How long until they get rid of these draconian trading restrictions?
Daylight Saving
Being woken up at crack of sparrow’s by a council worker who is understandably trying to complete the mowing before the day’s heat makes such work unbearable is starting to get on my tits.
Billy
Around whom I never had to pretend to be cool. Sing-alongs to John Farnham were allowed.
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